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part 1 - part 2 - part 3

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Monday, January 03, 2005

Songwriting Contest Entry

Yesterday I challenged the world to use this link and also this one as your songwriting muse. So far only one of my guitar students, Jim Salhoff, has entered. So there's plenty of opportunity to win my CD for a verse and a chorus. See yesterday for details. Besides, Jim already owns my CD. I'm printing his entry today which is quite humorous. I'm also putting in my first draft which is from the Brian Eno school of lyric writing. You really have to check out what he says about writing. But I know anyone can do better than mine. I did it with one brain tied behind my back.

Here's Jim's:
Verse: Ono Kiyoko,what have you done?
you really had the old man on the run,
you say abuse had been the only cause,
to end his life with a bottle of sauce

Chorus:A broken heart now lies in broken glass,
But now this time will pass, for you
You thought you had to do this to be free
And this you do believe,is true.
jim salhoff

And here's mine:
She dialed 9 - 1 - 1 and said, "This is an emergency !
It's about the future!"
They said, "I feel your urgency."
But they saw right through her,
"Call back when the future comes to your door."
She said, "I'm bleeding from the mouth and it's no cold sore"

My house is shaking and it's not the music
It may sound like drums, it's easy to confuse it
But something's on the wind, there's a rudeness of the molecules
You can't tell me nothing's wrong when I got this doll that drools
She just knew that the future was gonna screw her
Gonna screw her,
Gonna screw her before it's debut there

posted by Bud @ 6:08 AM

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