Read a great Review of It's About Time at The Muse's Muse

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part 1 - part 2 - part 3

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Read this Bud Buckley interview with Kid Mercury's ActoGuitar Blog. HERE
Read this Bud Buckley interview with Journalist Michael Manning. HERE
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Thursday, June 02, 2005

Google Orgasms and Adus Interuptus

Google should be answerable to somebody. I had been carrying their ads on this blog forever. I tolerated and was even amused when they put up ads for vaginal odor, stun guns, bad-breath-in-dogs and other very off targets that their secret algorithm determined. I was offended at first but noticed I was making money. I also noticed that bizarre ads didn't go away if I mentioned them since the mention itself tripped the algorithm into multiple orgasms of more off-the-wall ads.
I dutifully clicked each ad once to see what the hell I was helping them sell. I even bought a few items myself. I smell pretty good now but I can be stunning.

They even sent me a check for more money than I made selling CD's in April. Then we went to Hawaii for six days. I never had access to my site because I was stuck behind a Marriott blocking system that was afraid I might be corrupted by my own site. The blocking software said it was because my site mentioned "beastiality." Oops, there, I mentioned it again. And just having that word in there guarantees that every school, library, and Marriott hotel on the planet will block my blog. But the actual quote on May 11 was, "We don't want to get into beastiality here."

Google's bigger than China, I think, so maybe they're just too busy to stop and listen to me. And maybe they can only afford to employ 12 year olds too. Not sure. So I've been having a conversation with their algorithm. Computers think they're so damn smart. So I have this dialogue with one at Google Adsense. They keep telling me their algorithm detected an abuse of my Google Adsense ads. They made it sound like some kind of unnatural act. Like I was fornicating with their advertisers in some unapproved way. Like I was getting all Jim Morrison on them. Backdoor Man and all that.

So I looked at my web stats and discovered that my site was hit about 6 times greater than normal on one day in May while I was in Hawaii. Couldn't tell if that was the day of the alleged abuse. Now I'm presenting evidence to Google as if I was an abuser. I know I live in Florida, but I'm not a native.

I told them I wouldn't sit tight on this. I will fight them somehow. Even if I give them a mild pain in the ass, it'll be worth it and fun too. Let me begin by advising you to BOYCOTT GOOGLE ADSENSE

Let me continue by asking you if you know of any other ad services I can use instead.

I was never a big fan of obvious protest songs. Bob Dylan swears in his Chronicles Part 1 that he was not a spokesperson for anything. I believe him. If I were ever going to get into that genre of songwriting, however, this would be the type of thing to set me off. What rhymes with Google? Oogle, caboodle, noodle, strudel, bugle, poodle, oodle, feudal.

Been Googled
I've been falsely accused by Google Adsense
They say I abused their feudal nonsense
What can you do about the abuse of Google?
You can tell them to shove the whole kit and caboodle

Adsense abuse, Adsense abuse
Google says there's no excuse
So tell them to put it up their caboose
I've been Googled (up the caboose)
I've been Googled (Fighting's no use)

Well that's really enough of that.
Your comments and suggestions, please.

posted by Bud @ 5:41 AM

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