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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

The Id of Squid

I'm just guessing. I'm no biologist. I do believe in the Darwin theory. And it leads me to believe that female giant squid set up the ultimate test of whether or not a potential mate is worthy of breeding. This tends to propagate the strongest of the species. It boggles the mind to imagine what the human gene pool would be like if it were more difficult to mate. If no-contact insemination with the force of a fire hose is no guarantee of fertilization, what would humans do to score? None of this makes any sense unless you click that giant squid link above.

And look, if you're a religious spammer and you're reading this, just go away. Or I'll put out a contract on you with a horny giant squid. And they are proven to have no preference as to your sexual orientation or concern for your homophobia. I am unsavable. My readers will seek their own salvation. So just please go pray for somebody who gives a flying, uh, fish.

Once again, there will be no lyric coming from this thought that is in any way recognizable as a squids having sex song. I'm hunting for love themes here, not an x-rated Wild Kingdom theme song. This story of untouchable love that can be misdirected lends itself to several themes, I guess. And although "squid schlong" may rhyme with "big thong, I'm not going there. I think the simplest way to go is the Hard To Get theme. So I'd start there until a better idea comes along:

Hard To Get
I could burst and pour myself all over you
But I can't get near you, you won't let me touch
I thirst and roar, spread myself out for you
You churn away and say "What's the rush?"

You're not just hard to get, you're elusive
You glide away and you hide
But your behavior is inconclusive
'Cause you wide-eyed me every time I tried
You're hard to get, but I'll get you yet
Don't be so hard to get

I actually started writing the music for this last night. So It won't be that long before I can put it up. For now, isn't it amazing what a few kinky squid can inspire?

posted by Bud @ 5:13 AM

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