Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The Hump in the Way Day

Cathy's flight got in at 2:30AM instead of midnight. I had a training session, tried out a guitar and taught a music lesson. We are giving a coffee gathering for our Yoga classes at 10:30. I have three gigs this weekend. Here we go again. Sleep deprivation and over work does not a good blog make. Nor does it allow time to create/finish my music.

It's so damn nice having Cathy back. Cuddling is my favorite pass time. Who needs sports or TV? Physical training is going well. It's very helpful to have somebody boss you around and get you into shape. Kind of like a dominatrix. Adorable Czech accent too. She's given me a printed out program to follow as I only have 6 sessions left and then I have a new guitar to pay for.

I nearly took home a black one today (Taylor T5) that showed up unexpectedly at Sam Ash. I played it and I am sold. It plays like butter. You can make it sound like anything you want from mellow acoustic to very edgy electric. T5But I'm holding out for the red one pictured here. Late December they say. If you know nothing about guitars, Taylor is considered among the very best. To me it IS the best because of the neck design that is perfect for me. The tone is as good as any great guitar and better than most. It holds it's value remarkably well. I could sell one of mine for the same price I bought it four years ago. But I'll keep it as a backup. I decided to get a few cheap acoustics for students to borrow when they don't have one. Gonna get a baby one for little kids too.
So it's a three gig weekend and then I concentrate on preparing for the video shoot gig on Dec. 14. After that it's total R and R until Dec. 30 for a Stir The Soul coffee house gig. January begins my two and three gig a week busy season until Easter.

Somehow I'll work on my songs. Somehow. Blogging? Whenever I can.

posted by Bud @ 5:52 AM

Monday, November 28, 2005

Reverse Cinderfella

Okay, enough of this bachelorhood. I can do everything for myself. Always have. I clean, do laundry, make the bed and cook. Cook in a manner of speaking, that is. I don't eat anything with fat in it. So if opening a container of fat free cottage cheese, or frying Egg Beaters in nonfat spray is considered cooking, I'm qualified. I also do salads and protein shakes. There are two things I don't do well. I don't handle the accounts with any savvy and I don't like the time/space continuum when it is noticeably absent of Cathy. Besides, it's Cathy who is the financially savvy one. She also cooks several times a week so I can eat various forms of chicken. Not that I can't make chicken but hers tastes so much better that I would never bother to do it for myself. She also likes to paint walls and do gardening although she swears that's not true. Actions speak louder than words. When we're together, she's a lot of words and constant action. You can't hug and kiss a transcontinental phone conversation. So I've had enough. This shit ends at midnight tonight when I pick her up at the airport.

Okay, I got a lot of stuff done because there is a noticeable lack of conversation and interaction around here. But those of you who have suffered the absence of your mate know what I mean when I talk about welcome distractions and the lack there of.

Tonight I am going to our swing dance class without Cathy. My neighbor, Jo, graciously agreed to sub. She's a good dancer. And she'll probably be very polite and therefore not as bossy when I make a misstep, position my hands wrong or lose attention when the instructor shows new stuff. But I'm predicting I'm gonna miss that too.

Midnight tonight, baby. I'm like a reverse Cinderfella.

I didn't make much progress on my songs but I have been very busy with developing a system of music instruction. It's going to be a folder in which will live a slide rule for various scales on the fingerboard. You won't need to read music to use it. Guitarists are notoriously illiterate. I'm both enabling that tendency and giving them more power with music theory they can see in patterns. It is an awesome system. I'll also include my song writing chord wheel. It will show what chords are available in every key. Rotate it for each new key. Other music theory info will be printed on the folder. Music illiterates will be enlightened. Would be song writers will learn how to break out of the three chord humdrum. Power chord freaks will learn that there is something besides a fifth in each scale. And if you turn down the distortion, it's kind of pretty. Guitarists of all breeds will be able to move along the fingerboard in ways they didn't know were possible. With a minimum of thought. Who wants to think when you're jammin'?

I'm at the prototype stage now. I'll try it out on students before I start refining.

So that was my weekend. How was yours?

posted by Bud @ 5:35 AM

Friday, November 25, 2005

Inverse Of Free Time

There must be a law in physics by some genius, Alberto von Newtonstienarino, or somebody. A law that says that no matter how much free time you get, you'll fill it was so much stuff it won't seem free at all. In fact you'll feel like you have even more to do than when you were a self proclaimed busy person. Call it Newtonstienerino's Law of Inverse Free Time.

I'm alone this holiday. Don't weep for me, Blogland-artina. Cathy took a last minute flight to San Jose to be with her daughter. Motherhood never, ever stops. I'm not complaining. Just stating an obvious fact. Besides missing my best friend, companion and life mate, (otherwise known as devoted wife) I thought I'd get a lot done. And so I have. But not yet the stuff I intended to get done.

There outght to be a law against letting unchaperoned musicians into guitar stores with credit cards. After dropping Cathy at the airport I took a guitar amp over to Sam Ash Music Center, which just happened to be on the same road. I sold it to them and used it for a deposit on a new Taylor T-5 guitar. It seems this guitar is so hot you can't try one unless you buy one because they can't keep them in the store that long. Okay, I ordered one. Merry Christmas to me. But maybe I won't like it and they'll gladly take it back because there are 150 people in line behind me waiting to get their hands on one. Airport and music store took most of the afternoon.

Power nap interrupted twice by phone calls. Caffeine late in the day means Exedrin PM at night. I had to go nail down some gigs. Which I did. I am now booked solid from now to Easter. Our tourist season. This meant a dinner at Althea's Restaurant with the owner, Greg. That worked out the details of my twice weekly dinner gig schedule there. Three trips to Stir the Soul Coffee House just to work out the dates on two December gigs. I'm drinking decafe by this time but that will still wake me up in the middle of my REM sleep.

I have room for a few more dates in the midweek area of my schedule. This is a good thing. My guitar student roster is also growing. I really need to find a high school kid to intern for me in exchange for free guitar lessons. I need an intern to collect e-mail addresses and sell CD's at my gigs. I can't do that stuff while I play. For me, playing the guitar and singing IS multitasking. Adding anything else to that is professional suicide.

So all this stuff is keeping me from finishing any of my own music. I REALLY HAVE TO FINISH MY OWN MUSIC. I have more loose ends than a land without latex.

So I know I promised something exciting for Friday but NOT THIS FRIDAY.

And now I will get the hell off-line and crawl back into my schedule of things I should be doing besides blogging. Have a splendid weekend, folks.

posted by Bud @ 5:24 AM

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Contact Button Broken (If you wrote, I didn't get it)

Happy Thanksgiving! If you're on-line, you may not have much going on. Sorry about that. I hope you find something fun to do today.

I have to announce that my CONTACT button on the left of the page is broken. If you've tried to e-mail me in the last couple of weeks and haven't gotten a response, that's why. I never got it. So please try again directly instead of through the link at:

Have I mentioned how much I hate geekdom and geek speak?

posted by Bud @ 7:24 AM

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

What I Sorta Have In Common With Dubya

I see president Bush got maneuvered into sampling Mongolian fermented mare's milk. So it's official now, he's off the wagon. Maybe that's why he announced that the US is Mongolia's third neighbor. I believe China, Korea and Russia are one, two and three but I'm not gonna second guess a guy who's on fermented mare's milk. No Mongoloid jokes, please. I'm only mentioning this because I thought I was the only one I know who ever got that close to mare's milk. I didn't ferment and drink it and proclaim that New York was third neighbor to Bermuda or anything. But I did milk a mare once. It's a long but amusing story. I'll capsulize. You'll like it.

My friend, whose name I will withhold wanted to wean her mare from her foal. I offered my barn. The mare became nervous and congested and her udders looked explosive. You can never find a maternity bra for a mare when you need one. My friend called the vet from the barn. Remember Mr. Ed? He had a phone in the barn too. But I digress. After some medical chit chat, my friend, who is a rather attractive lady, hung up and said to me. "Can you pull tits?" I'm trying to decide if this is a trick question. I'm trying to decide how we go from veterinary medicine to some weird twist on the farmer's daughter joke. I'm trying to slap my mind. I'm trying to form a response of some kind, any kind that will keep me out of trouble. She broke into my thoughts with, "The vet says we have to milk her. Can you do that?"
"Of course," I said. Like it was just another day at Bud's Mare Milk Dairy. Where our motto is, "You Ride 'em, We Milk 'em!"
I guess it was easy. Put me around mammary glands and I just know what to do. The mare was relieved and, I might add, quite satisfied. There was no thought to fermenting or drinking the milk. It was unceremoniously tossed into the barn yard. Later that chilly night it was undoubtedly lapped up like Dairy Queen by field mice.

I know I hinted that I might be trying to develop some funny lyrics but mare's milking can only be of the Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer sort of thing. I have to draw the line someplace. And I draw the line at banal, mindless country tunes of that particular ilk.

If you've been reading me for a while I bet you're dying to point out that I'm the guy that wrote a lyrics on Sea Snot which only Becky can recall. I have no copy of it anywhere.
But here's a lyric about looking up skirts.
Or how about one on Squid Sex.
A lyric about colonoscopies get's searched a LOT!
The Joys of living in a gated community.
A lyric about fish escaping red tide.
Then there is the ever popular The Naked Tickler.
Self immolation is always a favorite subject when it has to do with love.

That's just a smattering of wackiness from my last 100 Blogs. You can vote for your favorite goofy lyric if you'd like. Or not. I may develop some music for your favs.

posted by Bud @ 5:05 AM

Monday, November 21, 2005

Heavy Seasoning

Bacon Brothers concert Saturday night was very entertaining. Good music all around. Kevin is certainly the performer. Doing Footloose moves all night. But it works. For him. Not for everyone. Michael just plays and sings his ass off and that's all it takes.

This is the second time in as many weeks I've seen somebody perform spoofy, comical lyrics. I've avoided developing my goofy lyrics into actual songs. Preferring just to post them for a laugh. I may have to revisit that. That stuff got good reaction. I may run it past you again.

Oh, it's November 19 (as I'm starting to write this) and another tropical storm is coming this way. Gamma, they're calling it. I really thought we were done for the season. See, people say Florida has no seasons. We have lots of them. We have early summer. We have hurricane season which overlaps early summer, midsummer and late summer. We have snow bird or tourist season. Snow birds either have white hair and drive cars much too big for them (slowly and in confused paths) or they actually have wings and feathers and northeastern attitudes. We have red tide season which can overlap any and all of those if it damn well feels like it. We have drought and possible fire season. We have gator mating season which coincides with stay the hell out of the fresh water season. We have hungry gator/birthing season which coincides with keep your poodle indoors season. There are many overlapping seasons for various insects like love bugs and fire ants. Clouds of Love Bugs fly around in pairs attached at the genitals. They get splattered on cars and are the official favorite organism of the carwash industry. We have seasons where the anoles, those cute little lizards, are as thick as carpets in the garden. I actually find them adorable and get incensed when the egrets dine on them. There are many many seasons involving the various wildlife cycles. I haven't adjusted to that yet.

So I know back in New York I had four distinct weather related seasons but looking back at it from a retired teacher's point of view there is just cold, shitty weather season which coincides with work in school with kids. And summer which could go either way but for me at least always involved working in school without kids. Getting ready for kids. I loved the kids. The rest of it I don't miss much at all. I always missed the best parts of spring and fall because I was really busy in school.

So now I'm in the season of my life where everyday is summer. But without kids. And I look back at the seasons past with both fondness and relief. But not regret. It's all good.

A six hour gig on Saturday at least gave me the longest sleep I've had in recent memory. Seven hours is like Rip VanWinkleville to me. It makes me groggy to sleep that long. Five hours and a short power nap is all I ever get. Fun gig, though. People had me doing Dylan tunes. I really don't get that, "You sound like Dylan" line I have thrown at me a lot but the tips aren't bad so I'll go with it. Guess I'll have to learn some more Bob songs. I actually have more Jacob Dylan songs in my set list, I think. I did Blowin' In The Wind last night on request from a lady who wanted a "hippy folk song." She was quite adamant about it and her initial request was Margaritaville which I joked about and avoided. When you play gigs in Florida the Margaritaville request is dreaded because it comes five hundred times a week. Enough with that shit already. It gets to be more grating than a nursery rhyme. Hell, to me it is a nursery rhyme.

So now it's Monday morning and tropical depression Gamma looks to be giving up. It's the season of tired storms, I guess. For everything there is a... Hey, another hippy folk song! Turn, Turn, Turn.

posted by Bud @ 6:01 AM

Friday, November 18, 2005

What Kind of Friday Should We Have Here?

I sure do appreciate all the helpful feedback on that lyric I posted about Denial the other day. It was more helpful than you will ever know. I don't want to say more than that just now. If you commented on it, I'm deeply grateful. You are allowed to say it sucks, ya know, as long as you tell me why it sucks.

As I'm witing this, I'm just home from a street fair type gig. More of a duty to the business community than anything else. In the process I did pick up an extra couple of gigs for December and most likely a resigning of my usual tourist season gig which is January to Easter here. Saw some nice folks I know wander by. This is another intense weekend with three guitar lessons to teach, a concert to attend and a gig. Going to the movies too. What did I do before I retired? Oh, yeah, I remember now.

So I've been toying with the idea of having a special recurring feature on Fridays or Mondays or both. Braless Tuesday like Bored Housewife is out of the question. There's also a fun Way Back Wednesday at Xtessa's. The ever popular Half Naked Thursday like Jill's is fun but why add to something that's already being done? Michael Manning does neat things with Friday Night at the Movies. I'm kind of stuck for new ideas.

Would would you think of a Name the Celebrety Body Parts contest? Not strictly a T and A sort of thing. It would include nostrils, earlobes, hairdos without faces. That sort of thing.

If I stick with my ongoing theme, I should probably do a Name That Lyric (from a line I supply) contest. Could do multiple choice. If I could find the software to run it, I'd set it up like Name That Tune. You know, "I can name that lyric in four words..."

Would love to hear from as many of you as possible on this or other suggestions. A long as it's not something that somebody else is already doing.

I should close this week with a big thank you to those who have taken advantage of my special CD offer and offer it still again. You know you want to stuff somebody's stocking or other orifice with this baby:

I need to raise more money for the production of my next CD which I hope to start seriously recording as soon as the busy season ends here around April. So I'm putting my CD, Feel My Love, up for sale. Many of my long term readers already own it. I'm offering it to everybody now for $10 with free shipping. Until Christmas. That's a $4 saving. I'll autograph every CD if you e-mail me instructions. You can use this as a gift. I HOPE you'll use it as a gift. I'm gonna repeat this offer daily but I don't have time to redesign the buy page just yet. So e-mail me,, and I'll give you a mailing address for you to send a check.

Special offer for those who already bought one: I'll sell you a second one for $9. Free postage. Again, think gift.

If you're new to the site, you can hear samples by clicking the banner at the top of this page.

posted by Bud @ 5:14 AM

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Just What IS This?

I started a long winded post on this yesterday. Slept on it and decided to give you less. Because, you know, less is more.

Below is draft two of a lyric that came to me spontaneously. That happens sometimes and I have no control over it. Can't stop it. I learned to write these "cerebral hemorrhages" down as fast as they seep into my consciousness. Sometimes they become good lyrics or parts of good lyrics. The music NEVER comes to me that way. Sometimes it does in dreams but I always forget.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to tell me what you think this lyric means or what it means to you. Forget what it means to me. It's not about me at all, by the way. I'm not in this one. Sure would appreciate your feedback. It'll let me know if I should continue to refine it, put music to it or just move on to something else. Like I really have time. But that's another story. Thanking you in advance for your indulgence.
Work in progress by Bud Buckley 2005

I loved how you lied to me. You do push the buttons.
You sure know how to push mine
That trick you do, all eyes, sexy struttin'
Damn near worked every time
Now I see fear in your smile,
I need a heavy dose of denial

I bought it all so I'm desperate to believe you
Nobody else does and we're sinking pretty fast
You screwed up so badly there's nothing left to construe
I don't know how long we can last
Now I see fear in your smile,
I need a heavy dose of denial

Give me something to hang my denial on
I bet it all on you and wore it on my sleeve
Give me something to hang my denial on
Give me any excuse to believe

You're copping to ignorance but never deception
Figured nobody thought you were smart anyway
You're pleading to sell one last misconception
Your story holds up like a penny toupee
Now I see fear in your smile,
I need a heavy dose of denial

posted by Bud @ 6:38 AM

Monday, November 14, 2005

Just Busy, Not Dead

Busy and interesting weekend. Haven't had time to read many blogs. I love doing open mic. I'm gonna try to do at least one a week even when my gig schedule is busy. It's a terrific way to find out how your material connects to people who are listening intently. As opposed to say, ordering a round of whatever and sharpening their pickup lines. Before and after my own performance, which is usually 3 or 4 songs, I do have wait a long time listening to others. Sometimes it is a painful listening experience. It's refreshing though to see where I came from. That off key guy pounding chords and moving spastically, or not at all, was me my first few times. Years ago. Had I seen myself then, I would never have gone on. It's good to see where you came from. It puts how you got to where you are in a sharper focus. Points to where you're going. People in all walks of life can get the same experience by helping out fledglings in their jobs. Next weekend I have two gigs, though. Have to check around and see what open mics are running on other nights.

Did a lot of planning on my promotional video Saturday with Mark Zampella, my producer. How lucky am I to have a guy who wears so many hats so well? Dude does graphic art and video production as well as mixes sound and plays guitar. On top of that, he's a terrific friend. We tend to laugh a lot.

Struggling with a new E-zine format that I have to get out today for next week's gig notices to my Florida fan base. Also obsessively replacing fat molecules with muscle. Will somebody please tell me again when the hell the endorphin rush starts? I need that to start pretty damn soon. Is that whole endorphin rush thing a hoax/ has anybody out there ever experienced it during intense cardio workouts? I get nothing but the need for a shower.

posted by Bud @ 5:23 AM

Friday, November 11, 2005

Honoring Veterans and The Rest of Us

This isn't about politics. This is about paying tribute to millions of men and women who sacrificed a big chunk of their lives either for what they believed to be right or because they didn't have a choice. Regardless of what their reasoning and beliefs are, they paid a steep price. Because somebody in power believed it whether they did or not. Regardless, they enlisted or were drafted or had what they thought was a non combative guard enlistment activated to live fire. And they served. I honor their sacrifice.

I don't believe that patriotism is defined by how willing you are to send others to war. Or how willing you are to support a war. I resent people who question the patriotism of those who can say, "I support our troops but not the war."

I'm proud that I avoided the Vietnam war by becoming a teacher. I gave teaching everything I had. I am no less proud of those who did what they thought they had to do at that time. I am proudly opposed to the present war. And I'm proud that there are Americans who will stand up bravely for their beliefs on this issue regardless of which side they are on. I have nothing but utter disdain for those who resort to witch hunting over a person's beliefs. There are plenty of popular beliefs that I think are way beyond rational understanding. But I'm glad I live in a place where, at least on the books so far, it's anybody's right to believe whatever they want. There are people in power or people trying to get more power who want all of us to believe in the same narrow thing. There are people in power who pretend to agree with those people just so they can move their own agenda forward.

If people want to believe that their sons and daughters are sacrificing their lives for our defense, I don't begrudge them. Nobody wants to believe they lost a loved one for a bogus reason. What I believe they risked their lives or died for and what they actually risked their lives or died for, doesn't bring them home or back to life. So on this Veterans Day like all of them, I salute those who served and to those who had the courage of their convictions not to.

posted by Bud @ 10:24 AM

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Day After Blues Doesn't Net a Song

When you swear off blogging anything political or highly controversial, there isn't much to write about on a day like this. My music is keeping me too busy to come up with anything new so I'll repeat the CD offer from the last post.

I need to raise more money for the production of my next CD which I hope to start seriously recording as soon as the busy season ends here around April. So I'm putting my CD, Feel My Love, up for sale. Many of my long term readers already own it. I'm offering it to everybody now for $10 with free shipping. Until Christmas. That's a $4 saving. I'll autograph every CD if you e-mail me instructions. You can use this as a gift. I HOPE you'll use it as a gift. I'm gonna repeat this offer daily but I don't have time to redesign the buy page just yet. So e-mail me,, and I'll give you a mailing address for you to send a check.

Special offer for those who already bought one: I'll sell you a second one for $9. Free postage. Again, think gift.

If you're new to the site, you can hear samples by clicking the banner at the top of this page.

posted by Bud @ 6:46 AM

Monday, November 07, 2005

Don't Miss This Deal

Haven't talked much about music here in a few posts. A few wondered what was up with that. I'm swimming in a sea of music. Nothing is finished. Stopping to write about it keeps me from getting it finished. I'm just recuperating from a huge private block party gig. Enormous crowd. I only took ten minute break to avoid eating. I enjoyed myself but I'm exhausted. I did discover tat my Bose sound system works extremely well outside over a wide area. I'm rather stunned at how good that thing is.

I'm also preparing for a live promotional video gig still some five weeks away. This consumes more time and energy than I have time to detail here.

Banging myself into the kind of physical shape I want has created an energy crisis. That is, I haven't yet figured out the correct balance of sleep/workout/food to peak my energy when I need it.

I need to raise more money for the production of my next CD which I hope to start seriously recording as soon as the busy season ends here around April. So I'm putting my CD, Feel My Love, up for sale. Many of my long term readers already own it. I'm offering it to everybody now for $10 with free shipping. Until Christmas. That's a $4 saving. I'll autograph every CD if you e-mail me instructions. You can use this as a gift. I HOPE you'll use it as a gift. I'm gonna repeat this offer daily but I don't have time to redesign the buy page just yet. So e-mail me,, and I'll give you a mailing address for you to send a check.

Special offer for those who already bought one: I'll sell you a second one for $9. Free postage. Again, think gift.

If you're new to the site, you can hear samples by clicking the banner at the top of this page.

The New CD (working title is Tattoo) will be more acoustic in nature with layers of my guitars. I'll use New York, California and Florida musicians for percussion and bass. There will likely be some guest appearances when I use the Woodstock area studio, depending on availability. There will be more than one producer. So there will be a variety of flavors on the next one and I'm very excited. I've also had fun lately performing the stuff on Feel My Love in different arrangements. Lots of fun trying different things with older material. Maybe one day I'll do a Live CD of that stuff mixed with new stuff. The Video will certainly have little bits of that.

Posting may be lean for a bit as I get another coat of polish on some of the newer stuff.

posted by Bud @ 5:34 AM

Friday, November 04, 2005

Other Life-Prolonging Nonse-Ents

A few posts ago I told you about my spectacular continuation of life idea that was put into production by somebody else because I never acted on it. It's called Vidstone by the developer. A video headstone that plays video clips of your life. Beliefs or disbeliefs aside about an afterlife, I believe two things: I believe we can't know if there is an afterlife. And I believe that many people need to believe in one for a variety of reasons. The most dominant reason is fear. It relieves fear. It also soothes our human ego. What ME cease to exist?? Im-frigging-possible! Okay whatever you want to believe has absolutely no impact on me unless you're trying to get a donation to export your beliefs to people who don't know or care. Or start a war. Both are popular features of organized religion. Whether intentional or not.

Ents So now there is an organization that is the obvious accompaniment to the Vidstone. Now you can have your DNA entwined with an oak tree and planted at your grave site. This organization makes it clear that you would not be creating tree like Ent creatures that look like you. Nor would they produce little acorns with your facial features. Nobody would know your DNA was in the tree unless they took it into a genetics lab. And this particular biopresence ego trip is only $30,000 on top of your funeral expenses, not including the Vidstone.

The whole bioengineering thing is on the verge of getting out of hand, I fear. I'm all for messing with genetics enough to eliminate horrible diseases, if you include in that list of diseases things like bigotry, greed, deceit, and obsessive needs to watch Jerry Springer and that ilk all day long. But the problem is that all those sins are already so imprinted in our DNA that there is about as much chance of designing a better human being as there is in getting the levees in NOLA rebuilt without some skimming that will eventually put that town underwater. Again.

I am a walking talking singing contradiction. I'm very up and cheerful and love my life. I'm, at the same time, very pessimistic about the fate of humanity on this planet. Again, that is what my song Underground is all about.

If you could change your genetic structure to really improve yourself, what would you change? I'd go for no nasty diseases, aging slowly and gracefully, dying in my sleep when I've decided I've had enough. I'm willing to work for everything else in life.

posted by Bud @ 5:21 AM

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Beaglehole or Turdblossom?

Some of us have names that are easily transferable with a few letter substitutions to something derogatory. Changing the B to an F in Buckley, for instance. Lived with that my whole life. I was actually amused to hear 11 year old students whisper it. Like they thought it was original. And oh so naughty and rebellious. Nothing cracked me up more than to have former students tell me about something I allegedly did that they either made fun of, or thought was funny or cool or even pissed them off. It's a weird form of time travel.

But this is about names. Andy Borowitz did a funny piece on White House nick names a couple of days ago. Strangely, he didn't mention Turd Blossom, a term of endearment Dubya has for Rove. I don't try to understand these guys. A story out of my new favorite place to plan a visit, New Zealand, got me thinking about this. 10%MyAssSeems some college students are demonstrating by mooning explicit messages to the administration. "10% My Ass" was penned on the bum of one student. Referring to a raise in college fees, not a reduction in the size of the lad's ass. But the really amusing part is the college official who was quoted. His name is, Chancellor Tim Beaglehole. This, in the same story with the word "bum," is just too wildly suggestive. But even alone it is a name that should have been discarded at the age of reason. Say five generations ago.

I had a teaching partner at SUNY New Paltz who often mused about her pals Lipshitz, Fuchs and Horshack or something I think they were all friends out of desperation or some form of self-deprecating high comedy. The question is, should family pride win out over an open invitation to the entire human race to ridicule you because of your name? Here's a fun site that swears most of the names are real.

If my name were Hugh Jass or Dick Trickle, it wouldn't be for long, I can assure you. I'd change it right after I had my parents arrested for abuse. It's the last names that amaze me because there are years of opportunities to change a name like Badcock or Bunnyface or Cock or Bullock.

If you had am easily ridiculed last name, would you change it? Or would it depend on how much trouble it gave you?

posted by Bud @ 5:04 AM