Sunday, February 19, 2006
Don't Give Me Any of That "Grandpa" Crap
I'm only gonna mention this once because I'm proud of my son and daughter-in-law. They had a baby daughter, Stella, on Sunday around noon, San Francisco time. I couldn't be happier for them. And I hope my ex-wife now will stop the conception pressure on my daughter who is trying to get her teaching career going. She doesn't need a baby right now. My Cathy refuses to be called Grandma or Step Grandma or anything of that sort. It'll just be "Cathy," thank you. And I'm not really up for the label myself. Can't I have the privilege without the title?The age thing wouldn't bother me if it wasn't for how other people treat age. I don't look my age and never have. So I could easily lie about it. People who have known my age for the past ten years have accused me, to my face and I'm sure behind my back, of dying my hair. I laughed it off as a minor annoyance. No matter how I tried to get them to examine my roots, they were still suspicious. So I've lived for quite a while with people assuming that. If I have to dye my hair, what's the difference?
The real problem is the way people treat others who they think are too old. Too old to be doing what they are doing. An absurd argument. If they were too old, they wouldn't be doing it. I guess it's the way of the young to get even for having been told they were too young to do stuff. But jeesus, that was a LONG time ago. Let it go, already.
I didn't actually hear the Stones at the Super Bowl. There were too many sixty plus year olds standing in front of the screen saying derogatory things about this skinny old guy prancing about the stage doing rock 'n roll. So if he sounded bad, I don't know. But listening to and reading other people's reactions really upset me. It's clear that the old people bitching were jealous that Mick can still strut like a 20 year old. The dude invented that niche of Rock. I hope he does it 'til he dies. And Keith is, by his own public admission, lucky he didn't die long ago. He plays better guitar and has written better licks than 99% of the people who criticize. Okay I made that number up, of course. But I haven't heard a person yet who was putting down the Stones who will ever be 25% as good as they are now.
There are lots of people in the music profession or in the performing arts in general that I don't care for. It's just a matter of personal style and taste. It's never a value judgment. If somebody is willing to give a person money for performing then there is a solid case for them being capable. For every person who thinks you suck, there is another who thinks you are quite good. What does that prove?
So I'm saying emphatically that everybody should just shut up about performers who suck. Alter that statement to, "I don't care for that style." Or else get up on a stage and do it better. But if you do that, you'll be far more sensitive to criticism. You'd have to be a complete horse's ass to ever put down an other performer when you've faced the terror known as an an audience yourself.
The same goes for dissing older people. I'm surrounded by lots of old people. This is Florida. Many of them are frail. Many have been "rode hard" and show it. It's annoying to try to drive near them, walk behind them and, sometimes, explain anything to them. But guess what, kiddies? No matter what you do, short of offing yourself early, that's gonna be you and me. And it happens a lot faster than you can imagine.
My anger about this is pushing me to lie about my age and not admit to many people that I'm a grandfather. Because I know it automatically stereotypes me in the minds of the Young And The Smug. Hmm, good name for a soap opera. Or a Rock band. I don't think I can out and out lie about it, but I think I'll avoid the topic. I'm not as outraged as I would be if I were a minority in this country putting up with generations of racism and bigotry. I'm not trying to equate my situation to that. But it's damned annoying.
Today's diatribe brought to you by Confessions of a Singer Songwriter, where you can buy Bud Buckley's critically acclaimed CD, Feel My love for $10. Postage free. It'll assuage your guilt and touch your heart in other ways as well. E-mail me at Bud@BudBuckley.com. Do it for the old guy.
posted by Bud @ 10:38 PM
Comments:
I hear you about age dicrimination. I'm even guilty of it myself every now and then, and I'm old enough to be discriminated against myself. But I 've learned not to judge so quickly about age and capability. Two of my best friends are in their mid sixties and would give most twenty somethings a run for their money. They bicycle long distances, run, inline skate, cross country ski, sail, hike, and that's just on Tuesdays. They put the lie to old meaning decrepit or no longer capable. If everyone could see them, ageism would no longer be an issue.
And congrats on the new grandchild, Grandpa. Embrace the title, you've earned it.
And congrats on the new grandchild, Grandpa. Embrace the title, you've earned it.
The 60+ crowd that's appalled by the Stones are just as jealous of them as they were when they were young. Something about having a massive catalog of hit records that allows and drives these aging baby boomers to keep strutting on stage, enjoying 20 year old bimbos, and making a gozillion dollars that the folks without that stuff can't stand.
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