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Tuesday, October 16, 2007


My brother called to report that Mom thinks she was recently kidnapped and brought to the house she's lived in for about eleven years. Put up quite a violent scene about it. I see this as a result of two things. Being 91 years old and sedentary for the last five years is number one. The other that she has told herself for about 8 of the last 11 that she regrets ever moving from South Jersey to rural southern NY state. She has said this aloud and to herself so consistently that her mind has finally worn down that groove so deeply, she isn't getting out of it. So she had a fall, a head wound and now she thinks she's been kidnapped to a place (by my brother and sister who live with her) she doesn't want to be. I talked to her on the phone to try to reassure her. She wasn't having it. Next morning, though, she was back to normal, complaining that they hadn't cleaned the drapes since she moved there.

I started to write a lyric about this but found it so hard. I'm not sure if it's too painful just yet or if I generally find it hard to write about family. I've only managed one song about my daughter although I've referenced her in others. I want to write one for my son and I'm having no luck. He so deserves a good one too. Same with my granddaughter. That one can take a while, though as she is so young. Needs to develop a personality beyond saying "No" a lot and being generally adorable.

I'm reminded of a time I wrote a short story about my father who was estranged from the rest of my family. It was not well received by them. As a result I shied away from ever showing them something again. I can't recall any of them giving more than a polite thanks when I gave them my first CD. I have high hopes that they'll love this one. My sister heard the roughs and loves it. That's an excellent sign. I wish my older brother were still alive. He's another I must write about one day. Been gone 20 years now but still close to me.

Truth is, I'm not at all in writing mode these days. Including blogging. My energy, what there is of it, is directed toward this CD launch. So I won't waste your reading time until I have something interesting to say. I'll drop by and read all of you, however. Love you all.

posted by Bud @ 9:36 PM

Interesting post, Bud.

I find it difficult to write about family & those closest to me, too, even just on my blog. Not sure why either. Too many things to try to succinctly write? *shrug*

Good food for thought, tho.
ps. Sorry to hear about your Mom, too...
Losing my memories and sense of reason are one of my biggest fears w/aging.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom...I think writing a song for anyone is hard hard work. Its much easier to already have a song in place and dedicate it to someone (hahah)...

by the way, I'm back...

I know what you mean about finding it hard to write about family. I find that if I'm too close to any person/situation it's difficult to write about them. But it doesn't sound like you're trying to force yourself to write anything you're not ready for yet, so that's good. That's my advice, go with the flow when it comes to songwriting. :)

John Clinebell
Singer Songwriter
my dad had alzheimer's and dementia, bud. it was hard on all of us, especially him. sometimes, it was amusing.. he'd make me want to shake him, when he'd get in the car and start to carry on. i'd threaten to leave him on a street corner, because he'd have no idea where he was. he always found that amusing.

as far as writing, i go back to the discussion i covered about mothers and their sons... one writer who put his mother in everything he wrote, in every way he could; as child, as lover, as wife, as mother. one who simply left her out of everything.

like you, i cannot put anyone in my family into my work.

interesting, isn't it? how those who are closest to us cannot find home in our most personal place.

you are in my thoughts...
I have a hard time writing about family and friends too - other than in my private journal. But sometimes they creep into characters without me realizing it - seems like as long as I'm not knowingly PLANNING on writing about them it comes out okay : ).
Just poppin' thru w/a Halloween witchy hug for ya! lol
So sorry about your mom's turn of mind. My dad had Alzheimers so I know how that is...

To write about that kind of thing, or anything relative to family... my hat goes off to you!
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